any-spray...
we're having our hall and entryway floored , and that dear reader is why i am camping in the basement. im sitting next to my dog whom i love dearly but who does not feel the same about me ... she is the reason we ... no my mom is spending thousands of $$$ on a new floor... she is so old and she pees on the carpet esp. that hallway it was getting pretty bad.. and probably smelly but we would never notice because we live in it and get used to it even thought im not okay with that. but my dog is old... and im frightened more than i can put in words that someday ill come in to find my beautiful old puppy... im tearing up... i cant even type it.
ok, anywhoo...
im using Healthé Trim, people of the world. yes that is right, i am sick and tired of being fat! HA i can type that! but obviously not that tired because im not following all the rules. but really... people tell me you're beautiful on the inside! i dont think i even have that anymore. what if im just ugly in and out. i have spent all of my life trying to convince myself that the world has it wrong. that i am beautiful and that i have to show them! but no. years of that have picked away at my soul and now i just want people to look at me and see beautiful instead of staring and thinking fat and ugly. there is this song by 2NE1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGe0hHvAGkc
there you go. and i almost cried (really i dont usually cry this much.. these incidences are spaced out pretty well) -- because they HAVE NO IDEA WHAT UGLY FEELS LIKE how people stare... how people judge... how you fantasize about being different... no they are not ugly and i dont think they can know what its like...
on that happy note... nothing else right now...
bb friends
"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." thanks anne frank.. make me feel bad
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